Hawking Up Hairballs

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Waffle What?

Every year in Atlanta, thousands of people turn out to participate in the Peachtree Road Race on the morning of July Fourth. It's a 6K race that has been held for a good thirty years or more. So, it's what you might call a tradition. It's not up there with Confederate Memorial Day, but it's still a tradition. Anyway, here I am, checking out the Atlanta Journal Constitution's web site, something I do every morning. Right there on the first page of the site is an ad for the race, and it informs me that its sponsor is Waffle House restaurants. Say what? I had to grab the edge of the table for fear that I would fall out of my chair. That couldn't be right. I exited Internet Explorer, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. I figured I must have entered some alternate universe by accident, someplace where the world as we know it had been turned upside down. I reopened Internet Explorer and tried again, but it was still there. Sponsored by Waffle House restaurants.

Talk about money poorly spent. Unless they've transformed themselves recently, it's more likely that the Waffle House restaurants would be picketed by the American Heart Association than that they would be frequented by runners. Sit down there and order an egg-white omelet or something of that sort. At best you'd be laughed out of the place. At worst, you just might find the waitress's pencil buried in your eye. The chain's management really should have a talk with their marketing people. Wouldn't they be more likely to scare up business by advertising at someplace like NASCAR events? Or maybe at one of those dog fights conducted by former Atlanta Falcon quarterback, Michael Vick. Perhaps they could sponsor some sort of an all-you-can-eat contest, one with a regional theme. The person who can down the most barbecue pork gets a free defibrillator and fifty percent off his of first ambulance ride to the emergency room.

I haven't eaten at a Waffle House in decades, and that's no exaggeration, so maybe I'm off-base here. Maybe the CEO is a dedicated marathoner. Maybe they've added fresh fruit to their menus. There might even be low-fat, vegetarian items on the menu now. But, the Waffle House? Naw.


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