Worse Than Doggerel

Over twenty years ago now, I edited a poetry magazine called Dead Angel with David Matthews and the now-deceased G.C.C. Like most such publications, it was short-lived. The strange thing is though, I still occasionally receive submissions in the mail. One came today. Boy, is it something. Here are the first two paragraphs of the cover letter.

"I, (name withheld), am writing on behalf of my poems (total of 63). The Lord has blessed me to write these poems to share with others around the world. I am requesting that your publishing company would allow me the opportunity to experience this vision by publishing this book of poems.

"I am sending one poem for you to read and I would love to hear feedback from you. I truly believe these poems have the power to encourage and lift the spirits of others, and you would be blessed reading them as well.

Well, in the first place, this poor soul is minimally literate. I don't fault her for that, given the sorry state of public education. I must say though, if you want to write poetry, learn proper English. This isn't a case of the woman using a form of dialectic English. It's ignorance, pure and simple, and she apparently doesn't think that it's important for her to remedy that ignorance. Why then should we read her poetry?

What really bothers me about this letter though is the implied narcissism. This woman's "Lord" has chosen her for this special mission to share her poems with the world. It reminds me of those people who believe in reincarnation. They all seem to think that they are the next coming of some famous person, or someone who was in the retinue of some famous person, but it's more than that for this woman. She has been chosen by God. (Cue the sacred music.) Not only that but she wants her poems published so because it would "allow me the opportunity to experience this vision". In other words, this is all for her benefit, though it's for mine too, as she reminds me when she says that I would be blessed by reading them too. And the poem? Here are a few lines and, yes, she writes in all caps.

"LORD" PLEASE COVER MY JOY"
IT'S JUST LIKE GETTING A NEW TOY"
SOMETIME I SAY WOO BOY"
AND THEN I START TO JUMP FOR "JOY"
JUST LIKE WHEN YOU BUY A NEW "TOY"

Enough, my fingers refuse to type anymore.